{"id":12658,"date":"2015-03-04T05:00:01","date_gmt":"2015-03-04T13:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/?p=12658"},"modified":"2015-03-04T10:11:43","modified_gmt":"2015-03-04T18:11:43","slug":"i-can-do-anything-but-i-cant-do-everything","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/?p=12658","title":{"rendered":"I Can Do Anything, But I Can&#8217;t Do Everything"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes1.jpg\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-12659\" src=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes1.jpg\" alt=\"test-shoot-outtakes1\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes1.jpg 800w, https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes1-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Throughout my childhood and beyond, my mom kept telling me that I can do <em>anything<\/em> that I set my mind to. I believed her wholeheartedly and set my mind to many\u00a0career paths, and I have accumulated quite an eclectic background in various fields and industries. I jumped from corporate boardrooms to high school classrooms to theater productions to technology groups to the freelance life in writing, sewing, illustrations and photography.\u00a0I seem to perennially be a Jane of all trades, master of none.<\/p>\n<p>Recently, I\u00a0realized\u00a0that I&#8217;ve misunderstood\u00a0my mom all this time. Somehow I was hearing,\u00a0&#8220;You can do <em>everything<\/em>.&#8221; This is a very dangerous and unhealthy mistake, I&#8217;m discovering.\u00a0We have so many roles to play, all of us, and I constantly have a running monologue in my mind in the form of a checklist. A typical list includes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>do laundry<\/li>\n<li>plan photo shoots<\/li>\n<li>develop patterns<\/li>\n<li>schedule K&#8217;s playdate<\/li>\n<li>remind M to fill out tax forms<\/li>\n<li>meet with friend for coffee<\/li>\n<li>sew skinny jeans<\/li>\n<li>write blog post<\/li>\n<li>paint custom illustration<\/li>\n<li>contact so-and-so to promote\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/1570619549\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=1570619549&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=sanaishi-20&amp;linkId=GTUUV3DCT3YYEPEY\">Little Kunoichi<\/a><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;\" src=\"http:\/\/ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/e\/ir?t=sanaishi-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=1570619549\" alt=\"\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" border=\"0\" \/><\/li>\n<li>buy compost bags and zit cream<\/li>\n<li>pick-up guinea pig from K&#8217;s friend (we&#8217;re pet sitting)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&#8230;and the list keeps getting longer and longer every day. Like other moms and women, I juggle home-management with some semblance of work, all the while trying to maintain relationships and family commitments.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes3.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-12661\" src=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes3.jpg\" alt=\"test-shoot-outtakes3\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes3.jpg 800w, https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes3-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Things are falling through the cracks. And the cracks are getting bigger.<\/p>\n<p>A few weeks ago, I had coffee with two delightful and mind-bogglingly talented friends and we talked about the concept of &#8220;polymath&#8221; &#8211; a person with expertise in multiple disciplines. We each have ardent curiosity and enthusiasm for a variety of pursuits\u00a0including arts and hard sciences and psychology and technology. But because we have so many interests, it&#8217;s easy to feel scattered and unfocused. It&#8217;s also easy to believe it&#8217;s possible to do it\u00a0all. I mean, just look at all those overnight successes on the internet. Did you hear about the youtube video sensation that garnered millions of hits? A woman unwraps toys from Target. That&#8217;s all she does. The seemingly low bar of such stories inserts thoughts in my mind that maybe I too can\u00a0create some fantastically popular video and rake in gazillions (maybe by folding fabric into origami shapes?) and spend the rest of my days becoming a polymath at a leisurely pace.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes7.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-12667\" src=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes7.jpg\" alt=\"test-shoot-outtakes7\" width=\"800\" height=\"499\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes7.jpg 800w, https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes7-300x187.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I know that the definition for success is amorphous, and money and youtube viewer numbers are not the best indicators, unless that&#8217;s your particular M.O. The other morning as I was dropping off K and her friend at school, the friend asked me what I was going to do for the rest of the day. I prattled off something about editing images and writing and she said, &#8220;Wow, your day sounds awesome!&#8221; And then she said, &#8220;If you become famous, will you buy a new car?&#8221; Because you know, we drive a junky old car and clearly famous people would <em>never<\/em>\u00a0own such a vehicle. I informed her that the chances of me becoming famous are slim to none and it would be a long, long,\u00a0<em>long<\/em> time before I could afford to buy a new car at the rate I was going. She looked disappointed that my &#8220;job&#8221; wasn&#8217;t as glamorous as she&#8217;d hoped. Remember how I started trying out the <a title=\"My Little Sewing Space Part 3\" href=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/?p=12377\" target=\"_blank\">Amazon affiliate links<\/a>?\u00a0I earned $18.25 for the month of February. Exciting, but not exactly rolling in the dough.<\/p>\n<p>In all but the financial realm though, I&#8217;ve been inching closer to my own personal definition of success. For me, a life well-lived is\u00a0being able to spend my days on my own terms doing what I love with people who matter to me, and I want to create small ways to add beauty and goodwill around me. I&#8217;ve always wanted some version of that, though I&#8217;ve been fuzzy about what that actually looks like. For my college admissions essay, I unapologetically wrote, &#8220;I want to make the world a better place.&#8221; Ah, such an earnest idealist. I don&#8217;t hold grandiose aspirations at a global level anymore, but if I can nurture my family, be a good friend, and perhaps provide a space that&#8217;s on the positive end of the spectrum here with this blog, I&#8217;d be heading in the right direction.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes6.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-12664\" src=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes6.jpg\" alt=\"test-shoot-outtakes6\" width=\"800\" height=\"574\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes6.jpg 800w, https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes6-300x215.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>My point is not that I am a financial failure nor that I&#8217;ve achieved some sort of exalted state of following my passion (ugh &#8211; yet another word I can&#8217;t seem to write without cringing).\u00a0I think I&#8217;m trying to say that I&#8217;m getting closer to a way of living that feels right for <em>me<\/em>\u00a0via slow and deliberate steps, but I&#8217;m also getting greedy about all the things I want to do.\u00a0I want to be excellent at everything I love, and it&#8217;s just not possible, at least not all at once and not in my lifetime, most likely.<\/p>\n<p>This second book I&#8217;m working on serves as an\u00a0example. When I signed the deal, I\u00a0agreed to do all of the writing, illustrations, pattern development and photography. It was such an honor! I couldn&#8217;t believe they thought I could handle this! The publisher told me that they&#8217;ve never actually had one person do all of that for a book. I felt my stomach sink a little at that revelation, but it sounded like a hearty challenge. And let&#8217;s be real: the publisher was getting more bang for their buck. It was smart on their part.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes2.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-12660\" src=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes2.jpg\" alt=\"test-shoot-outtakes2\" width=\"800\" height=\"1200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes2.jpg 800w, https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes2-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes2-683x1024.jpg 683w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>At first, I took on every aspect of the book by myself because I have a hard time asking for help. I stayed in my lone wolf comfort zone, writing the words, sewing and illustrating the projects and trying to style and photograph them. It became quickly apparent that\u00a0my skills were lacking in many of the areas and this\u00a0bummed me out &#8212; I\u00a0worried about the quality of the book. Eventually, I\u00a0owned up to where I couldn&#8217;t do certain tasks at the level I desired and tentatively reached out for assistance. Sure, I could try to continue bumbling through on my own, but it was uncanny\u00a0how events unfolded as soon as I accepted my limitations. For example, a few months ago, I admitted to myself that I wasn&#8217;t as good a stylist as I wanted to be, then an old friend who&#8217;s in the styling biz contacted me out of the blue and after a lovely catch-up session, she connected me to her stylist network here in Seattle.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes5.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-12663\" src=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes5.jpg\" alt=\"test-shoot-outtakes5\" width=\"800\" height=\"1159\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes5.jpg 800w, https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes5-207x300.jpg 207w, https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes5-707x1024.jpg 707w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>This past weekend, with the pro bono help of my long-time\u00a0friend and a new friend\u00a0&#8212; professional stylists with decades of combined experience under their belts &#8212; we had a test photo shoot at my house and it\u00a0was brilliant. They showed up in front of my house loaded up with bins of props and flowers and produce. So fun, so energizing, so full of inspiration. So very different from my lonely, solitary photo shoots filled with doubt and a sense of misgiving. I did, however,\u00a0suss out that I had to up my photography game significantly since I couldn&#8217;t even set up my tripod properly without aid. And it dawned on me that\u00a0shooting for print is less forgiving than shooting for the web, so I&#8217;m already working on\u00a0rectifying the situation. I am completely open to suggestions for all you photography experts out there.<\/p>\n<p>By the same token, frustrated by the pattern-drafting process, I talked about it with friends some more, and then got hooked up with a professional pattern drafter\/sewing expert. She&#8217;s been\u00a0giving me invaluable advice on construction methods for my patterns and it hit home how inadequate my pattern-making skills are. My\u00a0eyes filled with grateful tears\u00a0when she showed me an ingenious zipper insertion technique\u00a0and wowed me with her ability to look at my sketch and immediately figure out the construction.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes4.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-12662\" src=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes4.jpg\" alt=\"test-shoot-outtakes4\" width=\"800\" height=\"551\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes4.jpg 800w, https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes4-300x207.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Other friendlies\u00a0from the sewing sphere have kindly offered their time to test patterns. And on and on and on. I&#8217;ve been overwhelmed by the depth and breadth of magnanimity. And I may even ask you, my dear readers, for input and recommendations. What started out as a daunting solo project has morphed into a wonderfully collaborative, stimulating team effort that&#8217;s teaching me so much.<\/p>\n<p>With enough time and knowledge and hard work, I can probably do anything, but I certainly can&#8217;t do everything. There&#8217;s no shame in not being able to do it all; a few years ago, I would have rather asphyxiated myself with a jump rope than type those words. Sometimes things will fall through the ever-present cracks, but that&#8217;s part of the whole process, no? A process of letting go, of finding a foothold in my strengths and being honest about my limitations, grasping onto outreached hands for support. And repeating this cycle for myself, for others, for everything &#8212; could this be the way to climb unimaginable heights? Maybe it&#8217;s not even about climbing heights but marveling at the power of community to move mountains (or molehills in my case)? As usual, I only have questions and few answers.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes8.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-12668\" src=\"http:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes8.jpg\" alt=\"test-shoot-outtakes8\" width=\"800\" height=\"537\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes8.jpg 800w, https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/test-shoot-outtakes8-300x201.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>P.S. The images are outtakes from this past weekend&#8217;s photo shoot with fabulous\u00a0stylists <a href=\"http:\/\/www.allegrahsiao.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">Allie<\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/www.rachelgrunig.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">Rachel<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Throughout my childhood and beyond, my mom kept telling me that I can do anything that I set my mind to. I believed her wholeheartedly and set my mind to many\u00a0career paths, and I have accumulated quite an eclectic background in various fields and industries. I jumped from corporate boardrooms to high school classrooms to theater productions to technology groups to the freelance life in writing, sewing, illustrations and photography.\u00a0I seem to perennially be a Jane of all trades, master of none. Recently, I\u00a0realized\u00a0that I&#8217;ve misunderstood\u00a0my mom all this time. Somehow I was hearing,\u00a0&#8220;You can do everything.&#8221; This is a very dangerous and unhealthy mistake, I&#8217;m discovering.\u00a0We have so many roles to play, all of us, and I constantly have a running monologue in my mind in the form of a checklist. A typical list includes: do laundry plan photo shoots develop patterns schedule K&#8217;s playdate remind M to fill out tax forms meet with friend for coffee sew skinny jeans write blog post paint custom illustration contact so-and-so to promote\u00a0Little Kunoichi buy compost bags and zit cream pick-up guinea pig from K&#8217;s friend (we&#8217;re pet sitting) &#8230;and the list keeps getting longer and longer every day. Like other moms and women, I juggle home-management with some semblance of work, all the while trying to maintain relationships and family commitments. Things are falling through the cracks. And the cracks are getting bigger. A few weeks ago, I had coffee with two delightful and mind-bogglingly talented friends and we talked about the concept of &#8220;polymath&#8221; &#8211; a person with expertise in multiple disciplines. We each have ardent curiosity and enthusiasm for a variety of pursuits\u00a0including arts and hard sciences and psychology and technology. But because we have so many interests, it&#8217;s easy to feel scattered and unfocused. It&#8217;s also easy to believe it&#8217;s possible to do it\u00a0all. I mean, just look at all those overnight successes on the internet. Did you hear about the youtube video sensation that garnered millions of hits? A woman unwraps toys from Target. That&#8217;s all she does. The seemingly low bar of such stories inserts thoughts in my mind that maybe I too can\u00a0create some fantastically popular video and rake in gazillions (maybe by folding fabric into origami shapes?) and spend the rest of my days becoming a polymath at a leisurely pace. I know that the definition for success is amorphous, and money and youtube viewer numbers are not the best indicators, unless that&#8217;s your particular M.O. The other morning as I was dropping off K and her friend at school, the friend asked me what I was going to do for the rest of the day. I prattled off something about editing images and writing and she said, &#8220;Wow, your day sounds awesome!&#8221; And then she said, &#8220;If you become famous, will you buy a new car?&#8221; Because you know, we drive a junky old car and clearly famous people would never\u00a0own such a vehicle. I informed her that the chances of me becoming famous are slim to none and it would be a long, long,\u00a0long time before I could afford to buy a new car at the rate I was going. She looked disappointed that my &#8220;job&#8221; wasn&#8217;t as glamorous as she&#8217;d hoped. Remember how I started trying out the Amazon affiliate links?\u00a0I earned $18.25 for the month of February. Exciting, but not exactly rolling in the dough. In all but the financial realm though, I&#8217;ve been inching closer to my own personal definition of success. For me, a life well-lived is\u00a0being able to spend my days on my own terms doing what I love with people who matter to me, and I want to create small ways to add beauty and goodwill around me. I&#8217;ve always wanted some version of that, though I&#8217;ve been fuzzy about what that actually looks like. For my college admissions essay, I unapologetically wrote, &#8220;I want to make the world a better place.&#8221; Ah, such an earnest idealist. I don&#8217;t hold grandiose aspirations at a global level anymore, but if I can nurture my family, be a good friend, and perhaps provide a space that&#8217;s on the positive end of the spectrum here with this blog, I&#8217;d be heading in the right direction. My point is not that I am a financial failure nor that I&#8217;ve achieved some sort of exalted state of following my passion (ugh &#8211; yet another word I can&#8217;t seem to write without cringing).\u00a0I think I&#8217;m trying to say that I&#8217;m getting closer to a way of living that feels right for me\u00a0via slow and deliberate steps, but I&#8217;m also getting greedy about all the things I want to do.\u00a0I want to be excellent at everything I love, and it&#8217;s just not possible, at least not all at once and not in my lifetime, most likely. This second book I&#8217;m working on serves as an\u00a0example. When I signed the deal, I\u00a0agreed to do all of the writing, illustrations, pattern development and photography. It was such an honor! I couldn&#8217;t believe they thought I could handle this! The publisher told me that they&#8217;ve never actually had one person do all of that for a book. I felt my stomach sink a little at that revelation, but it sounded like a hearty challenge. And let&#8217;s be real: the publisher was getting more bang for their buck. It was smart on their part. At first, I took on every aspect of the book by myself because I have a hard time asking for help. I stayed in my lone wolf comfort zone, writing the words, sewing and illustrating the projects and trying to style and photograph them. It became quickly apparent that\u00a0my skills were lacking in many of the areas and this\u00a0bummed me out &#8212; I\u00a0worried about the quality of the book. Eventually, I\u00a0owned up to where I couldn&#8217;t do certain tasks at the level I desired and tentatively reached out for assistance. Sure, I could try to continue bumbling through on my own, but<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[60,9],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-12658","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-book","7":"category-life","8":"entry","9":"has-post-thumbnail"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12658","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12658"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12658\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12689,"href":"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12658\/revisions\/12689"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12658"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12658"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sanaeishida.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12658"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}